Changing

If you can't change the people around you, change the people around you. Roy Boehm

Visual Thesaurus

Very nifty visual writing tool!

Randomness . . .

I've got green eyes, am 5'10" and weigh around 110. There is no overt exercise in my life, I was born this way. I'm tall and thin, but eat whatever I want. Seriously, the amount of food I consume in a day horrifies my girlfriends.

I just turned 40, and am pretty excited about it because now, somebody, somewhere, is going to have to take me seriously on the basis of my age alone. I am Pirate Queen all year long!

This year my daughter turned 21 and we went to Portland. We bought amazing little black dresses, oversize dark sunglasses and took pictures of ourselves at Tiffanys early in the morning. We giggled ourselves sick. Yeah - I'm THAT girl.

I have two kids (1 boy, 1 girl), 1 dog and 1 cat. I don't like the cat, and the fact that I feed her is proof that God has a sense of ironic humor.

I am dating the most amazing man in the world. I don't know how God saved Ian for me, for all these years, but He did, and I am grateful. To be loved like I am, every single day, is a treasure that every human being should receive. He says I am his happy ending, and I believe he is mine.

I love my job and I like being a girl, but can do boy jobs if I have to: I assembled my own barbecue and a free-standing, portable regulation basketball system. Both work.

I like black coffee, tea, ginger ale, red wine and Guiness. I love to cook but dislike the cleanup. In my fridge right now I have some sashimi from last night's sushi, some roast lamb, carne asada, and chicken fried steak with gravy. I love fine food, but am always ready for a really good hamburger or taco - and burnt marshmallows . . and spaghetti. I . . . am a carnivore. Sometimes at night, I crave Carl's Jr.

I'm quirky. There's no getting around it. I try to blend in, but camouflage isn't my style - I get tired of people running into me and saying, "Sorry, I didn't see you there!" I know exactly who I am, but I'm happy to let you come to your own conclusion about me. I don't like being the center of attention but I'm no wallflower, though I can be a bit shy when I'm nervous - the question is, what makes me nervous?

Three things I am certain of: God is real; whole milk is one of the yummiest things on the planet; I am loved.

I am teaching myself to play the piano. It's harder than I thought, but I conquered Fur Elise and my dog almost doesn't twitch at all anymore.

Things I'm drawn to: British humor (Hot Fuzz was just damn funny), Patrick McManus, art, Roman Military History, Agatha Christie's Poirot and Miss Marple, camping, learning anything new, cotton candy, REM, the way snow smells and how it turns a midnight sky pink when it's falling, books, old movies, Looney Toons, tea, and Stock (it's a flower). Simple things make me happy.

What would I say, if I had the undivided attention of the world for 30 seconds?

"Whatever you feel you must do, do it with kindness. If it cannot be done with kindness, perhaps it should not be done." Lisa Jenkins 2/16/09

Cardiac Obliteration

A bit painful for me. I've removed this post.

On Choosing What I Believe (working draft)

Beliefs are, by nature, absolute and, as such, very few are manifest in my life. I have more fingers on my hands than things I believe. I suppose I fear binding myself to restrictive codes that neither accommodate for the needs of others nor recognize the value in diversity. Yet, I cannot sail through this sea of people, and leave it better in my wake, without these bearings, by which I navigate.

In the midst of anger and hurt, I can choose to hold tightly to the anchor of blame placed with those I find at fault, though I believe that if I am unwilling to extend forgiveness to others, I cannot be forgiven for all the hurt I have caused. And so, I choose to forgive.

In the depths of misery, I can drown in despair though I believe that to deny hope is to disallow the dream of improved circumstances for myself and others. And so, I choose to hope.

Confronted by another’s seemingly unfathomable choice, I can ridicule their morals and customs, though I believe that we all face choices with less than palatable options. And so, I choose to empathize.

Awash in prejudice, I can foster the acceptance of ignorance, though I believe that knowledge can ease the fears born of the unknown, and will yield tolerance. And so, I choose to learn.

Faced with hate, I can forever abandon the author of each callous deed, though I believe that I can love someone in spite of their flaws, and without agreeing with their actions; for this is how I am accepted. And so, I choose to love.

Spouting religion, I can condemn others for not adhering to the tenets of men as fallible as I, though I believe that it is better to have a relationship with God than to be religious. And so, I choose relationship.

My inner compass, momentarily jarred by waves of conflict or distress, will, more often than not, right itself before those around me suffer too much damage. Given time, I rally against the cross-winds of emotion to choose a response that runs contrary to my own selfish, human reactions. Love, forgiveness, hope, empathy, knowledge, relationship, and tolerance serve as the stars by which I chart my course. Should I run aground in the shallows of selfishness, I will endeavor to take a new tack. And choose what I believe.

Stuff I Read

The Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett
The Wheel of Time Series by Robert Jordan
Post Secret (various contributors)
The Swiss Family Robinson by Johann David
The Once and Future King by T.H. White
The Alchemist by Paolo Cohelo
Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams
The World is Flat by Thomas Friedman
The Mists of Avalon by Marion Zimmer Bradley

I read Sharon Kay Penman, Patrick McManus, Jane Austen, Dorothy Parker, Shakespeare, Jane Austen, Madeleine L'Engle, Patricia A. McKillip, Charles Dickens, Shel Silverstein, Agatha Christie, Bernard Cornwell . . . Poetry, Fiction, History, Humour, Fantasy . . . truthfully, I read so much there is no way for me to list everything I love about literature. I own hundreds of books and I read them all, all the time.

I'm currently reading The Gormenghast Trilogy by Mervyn Peake, The Portable Dorothy Parker, and Inkspell by Cornelia Funke. Oh, and The Bible - always.